You all know the Bible is made of testaments old and new
You've been told it's just those two parts or only one if you're a Jew
But what if I were to tell you there's a fresh third part out there
Which was found by a hip new prophet who had a little
Donny Osmond flair
Have you heard of the all-American prophet
The blonde haired blue eyed voice of God
He didn't come from the middle East like those other holy men
No God's favorite prophet was all-American
I'm gonna take you back to
Biblical times eighteen twenty three
An American man named Joe livin' on a farm in the holy land of Rodchester New York
You mean the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith
That's right
That young man spoke to God
He spoke to God
And God said Joe people really need to know that the Bible isn't two parts
There's a part three to the Bible, Joe and I God have anointed you to dig up this part three
That is buried by the tree on the hill in your backyard
Wow
God says go to your
Backyard and start digging
That makes perfect sense
Joseph Smith went up to that hill
And dug where he was told
And deep in the ground
Joseph found shining plates of gold
What are these golden plates
Who buried them here and why
Then appeared an angel his name was Moroni
I am Moroni
The all-American angel
My people lived here long long ago
This is the history of my race
Please read the words within
We were Jews who met with Christ
But we were all-American
But don't let anybody see these plates except for you
They are only for you to see
Even if people ask you to show the plates to them, don't
Just copy them onto normal paper
Even though this might make them question if the plates are real or not
This is sort of what
God is going for
Joseph took the plates home and wrote down what he found inside
He turned those plates into a book then he rushed into town and cried
Hey God spoke to me
And gave me this blessed ancient tome
He hath commanded me to publish it
And stick it in every home
Wow so the Bible is actually a trilogy
And the Book of Mormon is
Return of the Jedi
I'm interested
Now many people didn't believe
The prophet Joseph Smith
They thought he'd made up this part three that was buried by a tree on the hill
In his backyard
Liar!
But Joe said
This is no lie
I speak to God all the time
And he told me to head west
So I'll take my part three
From the hill with the tree
Feel free if you'd like to come along with me to the promised land
Paradise on the west coast
Nothing but fruit and fields as far as the eye can see
Have you heard of the all-American prophet
He found a brand new book about Jesus Christ
We're following him to paradise
We call ourselves Mormons
And our new religion is all-American
Wow, how much does it cost
The Mormons kept on searching for that place to settle down
But every time they thought they'd found it they got kicked out of town
And even though people wanted to see the golden plates
Joseph never showed 'em
I have maggots in my scrotum
Umm, okay
Well anyway
Now comes the part of our story that gets a little bit sad
On the way to the promised land
Mormons made people mad
Joseph was shot by an angry mob and knew he'd soon be done
You must lead the people now
My good friend
Brigham Young
Oh God why are you letting me die
Without having me show people the plates
They'll have no proof I was telling the truth or not
They'll have to believe it just 'cos oh
I guess that's kinda what you were going for woah
The prophet Joseph Smith died for what he believed in
But his followers they kept on heading west
And Brigham Young led them to paradise
A sparkling land in Utah they called Salt Lake City
And there the Mormons multiplied and made big
Mormon families
Generation to generation until finally they made me
And now it's my job to lead you where those early settlers were led long ago
Have you heard of the all-American prophet
Kevin Price
The next in line to be
The voice of God
He's gonna do something incredible and be Joseph Smith again
'Cos Kevin Price the prophet is
All-American
If you order now we'll also throw in
A set of steak knives
All-American
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